Out of the hundreds and hundres of men I’ve now met through my seminars, Bootcamps and coaching, I have discovered certain patterns. I’ve noticed specific patterns on what makes someone GOOD with women and dating, and what makes someone BAD.
These are things that are SO COMMON amongst men that struggle with women, that I thought it’d be worth making a post about it and sharing some ideas on how to overcome it.
One Of The Most Common Biggest Challenges Men Have With Women
The challenge is that men that struggle with women are TOO ANALYTICAL.
They are stuck INSIDE THEIR HEADS far too often, and OVER-THINK things.
I’ve said this before… there is very little LOGIC or THINKING involved in attracting women.
That is probably hard for many of your smart intellectuals to hear, but it’s true.
The majority of men that attend our seminars and courses are very analytical and inside their heads. In fact, they basically LIVE inside their heads and are constantly consumed by their thoughts. These men usually have careers such as engineers, accountants, computer stuff, or something related.
Now, being inside your head and being analytical has its advantages… for your career and success – BUT NOT WITH WOMEN.
Why Is Being Inside Your Head A Problem?
The reason why it’s a huge problem is because you end up over-thinking things too much and it prevents you from BEING IN STATE.
State is basically how you feel – being in a state of confidence or having fun. To get into an incredible state of feeling good and having fun, you need to clear all of the thoughts from your mind and be totally PRESENT. You can’t be thinking about the past, you can’t be thinking about what you’re going to say to her, or “what about this or what about that”… you have to be in the here and now.
When you’re not being present an stuck inside your head… you are HESITANT with your actions. You hold back to approach her or to make a move. You’re over-thinking and waiting for the “perfect” moment.
When you’re stuck inside your head and not present… you get caught up in focusing on thoughts of the PAST – “This won’t work because a woman rejected me in the past” or “Last time I approached a woman XYZ happened”. Not only that, but you’re also focused on thoughts of the FUTURE – “What if she rejects me…?” or “What am I going to say to her…?” or “What if she has a boyfriend…?”
These thoughts put you somewhere else and takes you away from this PRESENT MOMENT.
The Power Of Presence With Women
Presence means getting out of your head – not being focused on the past or future – but the NOW. You are totally aware and present to the current moment. You have no thoughts or distractions in your head. You just act on your instincts and how you feel. You don’t micro-manage things or worry about what to say – you just let the words flow out of you.
You have no worry about what others think of you. You express yourself fully. You say and do what you want.
Now… does this sound attractive to women? Of course.
Not only that, but you are LISTENING. When interacting with a woman, you aren’t thinking about what to say or are somewhere else – you are WITH HER. You are listening to the words coming out of her mouth and not thinking about what to say next.
How To Be Present With Women
Well, most people think consuming alcohol or a drug is the best way to accomplish presence. NOT. This is just a temporary-fix. But this is why people drink or do drugs – it makes them fully present and puts them in the moment. It allows them to express themselves freely.
The good news is that you can train yourself to be present while sober. It’s a skill – or a muscle – that you build.
Let me ask you… have you ever played a competitive sport or activity before? Like soccer, basketball, football, tennis, dancing at a club, a video game, or whatever?
When you’re out there playing this sport or activity… are you THINKING about every step and move that you’re taking? Are you thinking about what happened yesterday or what’s going to be going on tomorrow? NO. You are totally present and in the moment.
If you’re playing football and you’re thinking about what happened yesterday or in the future…. BAM you are going to get nailed by someone. You can’t be thinking or in your head. You need to be in a STATE OF PRESENCE.
Some activities you can do to train yourself to be present are the following:
- Any sport or physical activity – it gets you fully present and in the moment.
- Meditation. Do this everyday and practice clearing your thoughts and being present.
- Doing activities that put you in a state of FUN – dancing, parties, concerts, events, casino games, etc…
- Going out to meet women and interact with people – anything social.
These can and will help.
There’s a book called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle that is worth reading.
And of course, you want to AVOID activities and things that make you too analytical and put you inside your head.
This is a powerful tool, once mastered, will make you incredibly successful with women and dating. I hope this helps.